Are your relationship expectations realistic or hurting your relationship with your man?

Life throws curve balls and plans rarely ever work. However, we can’t blame life for our problems. Sure, things don’t work out, but that’s a small inconvenience. The major issue is what you expect from your partner.

If you expect a certain thing from your man, and he doesn’t deliver it when you expect him too, you have a problem with him. And guess what? He won’t know you have a problem with him. When you confront him, he will say, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you jumping on me?” To be honest he has a point.

Let me back up here and help you out. You should not expect anything from your man. All you have to do is state your needs and preferences clearly so he can fully understand it. That’s it!

If things don’t go the way you desire, let him know what you need. If you find yourself constantly having to remind your man of your preferences over a period of time maybe he’s not the one for you.

Let me give you an example.

I was with a lady and kept telling her my needs were. I consistently said, “I need you to show me you love me.”

I can recall her asking me what I wanted for my birthday and I said, “Show me you love me. That’s all I need.” Her saying the words wasn’t enough for me. I needed to see that she cared and loved me through her actions.

I really didn’t care what she did as long as she did something. A simple phone call would have sufficed, but I rarely got that. Surprising me with a visit at home would have been nice, but that was a rarity. Trust me when I tell you anything would have been better than what I received which was nothing.

I reached a point where I couldn’t take the pain anymore, and I slowly pulled away from her.

Now the sad part was she lived and worked less than 15 minutes away from me. And I didn’t see her unless I went to her house or job.

So what’s the point you’re asking? The point is I stated what I needed time and time again. And I didn’t get what I needed. There weren’t any expectations on my part. I just wanted her to follow-up with the action if you’re going to say the words.

When the relationship ended, I wasn’t happy about it. Although you don’t really get over the pain you feel when you breakup with someone you love, you learn how to deal with the broken heart.

I knew in my heart and soul that I did everything I could to make it work, communicated what I felt and needed, and was able to move forward with my life.

Remember, if you don’t expect something to happen, you cannot be disappointed. It will be hard to do this initially, but stick with it and just focus on stating what you need.

Please, please be absolutely sure you know what you are stating is really what you need and not a want. The last thing you want to do is to send conflicting messages to your man.

Example: If you tell your man you like to be touched and caressed that should not change too drastically over time. If your man tries to touch and caress you and you tell him to stop or I’m tired you are sending conflicting messages.

If you truly don’t want to be touched and caressed, be gentle when you say it or just state “could you hold me” or “I need a hug right now.” That is much better than saying “no” with an attitude.

After reading this, are your relationship expectations realistic or unrealistic? And, how are you going to modify your relationship expectations or will you?

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Filed under: Relationship Expectations

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