The effects fathers and absent fathers have on relationships can determine how well a woman is able to raise her child. Find out why!

I will use the term, “Baby Daddy Syndrome” to explain the effects. Imagine a woman who had a baby and was happy to have the complete family. She’s usually the one who seems happy, cheery and loving life to the fullest. Nothing could go wrong.

A couple of months, sometimes years go by, things change. The wonderful man, husband or boyfriend isn’t doing his part anymore. She’s constantly cleaning up after the baby, taking care of the baby while he’s running around with the boys, coming home late or just don’t care to do anything.

It finally gets to the point where she speaks up and let him know he needs to carry his share of the responsibilities. He says he will help, but time passes and he doesn’t!

Now, she suspects he’s cheating. Or maybe he’s not coming home on time. Or maybe, he’s too lazy. Or maybe he doesn’t get a job to help pay the bills. Whatever the situation, it reaches a point where the woman and the man can’t work things out. They argue all the time.

The man decides he’s going to leave. At that point the woman starts to think, “I can’t let him leave. My baby won’t have his/her daddy around. I guess I can deal with him. He is a decent daddy.”

This is what I call suffering from the “Baby Daddy Syndrome!” No matter what the reason is for two people not being able to work things out, it is not necessary for the woman to stay in the relationship for the child or children.

This is troubling because most women don’t realize at the moment they decided to keep the man and not let him leave, they are actually taking the child out of the picture and reliving their past experiences.

When the woman sees the man ready to leave, she remembers what it was like growing up without a daddy. Or, she feels her child needs her daddy to survive. Or, she is conditioned to believe a child “must” have both parents in his/her life. Or, she may be suffering from an illusion or dream from when she was a little girl.

Let’s take a look at each one of the thought processes:

She remembers what it was like growing up without a dad

Many women grew up in a single parent household without their father, and sometimes without a male role model. They reached puberty and had that innate desire to do things that little girls like to do with fathers like going to the circus, going to the park, taking them to dancing or singing lessons, or maybe just playing games and spending time with them.

The older they got, the more they missed that father figure, and they vowed when they become adults and have their children, they would pick a good man who will help them raise a child.

A few years down the line they have children, the relationship with the baby’s father isn’t working, he wants to leave, treats her like crap, but she stays. She stays for the child or children. She doesn’t want her child to grow up without their father.

She is conditioned to believe the child “must” have both parents in his/her life; and she feels the child needs the daddy to survive

There are some women who were raised in a two-parent household. They grow up believing a child needs both parents to survive. They just cannot imagine ever having a child and not having the father there. Every one of their friends most likely had both parents, so it was the norm.

Fast forward a few years later the same woman has a child, the father doesn’t want any part of the child and the woman tries to keep him in her life because she feels the baby needs him.

She is unable to fathom raising a child by herself since she was raise by two parents. She deals with the bull the baby daddy always put her through.

She is suffering from an “illusion” she created when she was a little girl

This is probably the one that most women deal with. As girls are growing up they fantasize about many things. They dream about having a family, husband, career, etc. Many women read novels depicting romantic places, secret rendezvous’, sexy men, passionate stories, and more.

They tend to adopt the fantasies portrayed in the books into their life. It becomes the world they dream about and want to live when they get older.

Before you know it in Middle School and High School they tend to look for, and talk to the boys, that are popular, handsome, and athletic. Isn’t it ironic that most of the main characters in novels geared toward women are popular, handsome or athletic? Check it out for yourself.

Finally, they get older, have a child by one of these handsome men, and unfortunately realize the relationship is not working, she can’t stand him anymore, or the two just aren’t compatible.

But, since her illusion or dream was to have a child, get married, and have a big house, she stays with the man knowing she doesn’t love him anymore.

She wants to continue to live her fantasy. But she doesn’t realize she’s living a fantasy because she has internalized the illusion and it has become real to her.

If you are suffering from the Baby Daddy Syndrome it’s time to wake up and move on with your life.

You have so much life to live and there are many wonderful things for you to experience! What are you waiting for?

Don’t allow the effects fathers and absent fathers have on relationships to cause you to be unhappy.

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Filed under: Father Effects

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