Finally learn how to keep a good man by learning from the mistakes made by many women.

You should know I believe what you were taught, what you experience, what you think and do may interfere with you not having, finding or wanting a good man.

Often we blame others for our faults. It is so much easier to do that than to take responsibility for our actions.

The first step for you is to admit you need to work on yourself.

The second step is to identify what you need to work on and start working on it.

The third step is to repeat step two over and over and over until you are happy with yourself.

It’s important you truly understand that your happiness begins and ends with you. A woman who is happy with life will not allow herself to be in a situation where she needs a man to make her happy.

Although many strong and independent women, who are happy, may feel lonely at times, but they are still happy. Being lonely does not mean you are unhappy. It means you don’t’ have anyone to do something with at a particular time.

I Can’t Believe It Syndrome

Based on my experience, I believe approximately seventy percent or more of women suffer from the, “I Can’t Believe It Syndrome.”

I was shocked when I first encountered it. I did not want to believe it was true.

Here’s how it works.

You may be a woman who has everything going close to how you planned it. You are educated, life is fine, have kids (or none), job is good, have a nice car, house, take vacations, good care of yourself and truly enjoy life.

You meet men and go out on dates. You have had your share of heartaches and headaches when it comes to relationships. You have gotten used to being with yourself and the dating scene.

Then one day you meet a man. You two talk, go out a few times and you find yourself thinking of him more than the other dates. More activities are planned with him and you are having fun.

A few months pass and you’re somewhat confused because you are waiting for him to screw up like the rest of the men you dated. But, he doesn’t screw up.

Actually, he’s kind, considerate, caring, affectionate and helps you out when you need it, doesn’t ask for anything in return and likes to be around, and with, you.

A couple of months pass again and you just don’t get it. You’re saying to yourself, “How can this man be this good? Something has to be wrong with him? No man is this good? I just can’t believe I found me a good man? I know he’s going to change on me soon?” So, you keep yourself somewhat distant from him emotionally but still enjoy his company.

It’s been a year and you know you love him and he loves you, but you just can’t understand how he can be everything you wanted. “Nothing is perfect,” you say to yourself. “I know something is wrong…something has to be wrong with him.”

As a result of your doubts about him you begin to become somewhat emotionally and physically distant so you don’t get hurt. He realizes you are becoming distant and asks, “What’s going on?” You say, “Everything is okay.” Yet, he can feel something is wrong.

A couple of weeks or months later you are seeing less and less of him. He keeps calling you trying to find out what’s going on since everything was going fine for a whole year and poof…the relationship is slowly ending. He starts wondering, “What did I do wrong?”

The Confusion

In 1 ½ years or less, you have found you a good man, spent a tremendous amount of time with him, fell for him, loved him, enjoyed his company, he treated you with respect, showered you with love, and helped you when you needed it. Yet, you threw it all away because you could not believe he was a good man, would stay a good man or felt you didn’t deserve a good man.

This process is baffling because I know you have prayed for this good man, often thought of what it would be like to have a good man, envisioned how life would be with a good man, and then you throw him away!

It is ironic how you can give thanks to God, ask him to send you a good man, and when you get him you can’t believe you got him. Did you forget that you asked for him? Did you forget the long nights of crying, feeling lonely, staring out the window wishing you could share your life with a good man? Going to the weddings dreaming about your wedding day?

Why is it so hard for you to accept the fact that you had a good man? It’s rather simple. You don’t want a good man!

You have gotten used to the miserable, screwed up men you have dated. You came to the conclusion that there aren’t any real men out there. You figured those that are decent would screw up anyway or try to play you. So, you don’t allow yourself to truly believe that good men exist.

You allowed past experiences to interfere with achieving one of your dreams…identifying, getting and keeping a good man.

Then you have the nerve to say that men are screwed up! But you can’t take an honest look at yourself! At least most men know they are screw-ups and can admit it. But most women are a little screwed up too and probably will never admit it to themselves.

Remember when I started this section, I stated that you had it going on and didn’t have any real issues or problems in your life. Yet, you still suffer from the, “I Can’t Believe It Syndrome.”

Give Him To Me

Imagine you as a woman who is not fortunate financially, struggling, dealing with life’s issues, children and suffering from the “I can’t believe it syndrome.” How would you feel?

You probably wouldn’t want to deal with men after a bad experience. Might focus on keeping your sanity and doing the best you can for your children. Probably won’t have time for you much less time to talk to a good man.

It’s unfortunate, but that is the life of many women today! They would love to have had the opportunity to meet the good man that many women throw away. They understand and appreciate the qualities good men possess.

Instead of questioning “is it real”, “is he real” or “do I deserve him,” most will take it at face value and just have faith that it will work.

Leap of Faith

You will never know if a man is the one for you until you step out on faith. Nothing is guaranteed in this world. You must take a chance and share your heart and life with someone that you have identified as the right man for you.

Sure, you may get hurt! Yet every so often you give it another shot to see if you can get you a good man! Yes, you may hate men! Yes, they may get on your nerves. But you cannot deny the fact that you want a man in your life. You may not be ready for a man right now, but you desire one!

Now that you know how to keep a good man, what are you going to change in your life?

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